To Whom It May Concern

A few days ago, I was showing my boyfriend my old blogs that I did with my mom. We blogged a few years of our life, and he suggested blogging again after I quit it years in the past. He said that I express myself through those blogs. He said it helped him understand me better, despite the fact that those posts are now quite outdated.

I have always been more a writer than a speaker. Thoughts never quite sound as put together as they do in writing, and lately that's all I've been doing. Thinking but never expressing.

So as many times as I told him, "No, I'm not posting again" here I am. Posting again. But I didn't want to post on an outdated, 13 year old's blog so I've made a new one.

This is probably actually really good for me to do. In the last year especially, I've had a few downs in my life. I was diagnosed with a second auto-immune disease, which had me quit my job and put a stop on my education on top of dealing with the disease, recovering from it and having complications from my first disease of type 1 diabetes a few months after.

Now it's been exactly half a year since the initial diagnosis, I have bills from medical services that I am unable to pay, I'm dealing with left over mental stress from it all, and trying to find a job that I will be able to succeed at without luck. Honestly, I still feel pretty low even as the time has passed.

And I know that my boyfriend's suggestion of blogging wasn't intended for me as a type of therapy rather than he just wants to know more about me, but I think that's exactly what this could be. I'm hoping it could be something that gives me hope, gives me a voice, or at least the illusion of one. It can be a place where I'm reminded that life isn't a total waste of time and can be a highlight reel of the good things that happen in my life. It can be a place to rant, or a place to immortalize moments. It can really be whatever I want it to be.

So here it is, the first post in a long time. We'll see how long this goes. I feel even just a bit better after just this one.

Till next time,
Annie